Day 35 of writing Me Here Without You

I’m writing! I think it’s good to keep a record of my journey, how I got to where I got. Perhaps nowhere, perhaps somewhere. Hopefully, somewhere.

What have I done? I’ve written about eight chapters, just a rough version. I’ve changed the name of my lead character way too many times. I started with Mia, then switched to some other ones, then she was Alice for a while and now she’s Louise. I like Louise. I have other characters refer to her by nicknames, one calls her Lucy, one calls her Luisa, one Lou. It feels right! Don’t think I’m changing it anymore. Hope so!

I saw this video talking about who you relied to when you were growing up, who you went to when you needed someone. And I realized there was no one for me. Mom would always worry too much and I’d have to console her instead of the other way around. She’d always be a wet blanket, always crushing my hopes and dreams, telling me that whatever my idea was, it was not going to happen and it was stupid of me to give it a try. I guess her voice is inside of me now. I guess that’s why I’m so full of doubt, constantly blocking myself from giving anything a go. So, learning things about myself, growing, going over myself.

Outlander… There’s so much happening in every episode that it’s difficult to recap. Well done, Diana Gabaldon, I mean each episode could be a whole book, although apparently one season is. And so many books out there. Cannot read the book anymore because it just reminds me of writing in a way I’ll never know how. But it’s a bit much too on the other hand, if I’m honest. Does it really have to be a matter of life and death every three minutes? Anyway, Jamie is spending a lot of his time in a brothel, discussing with the politicians of the time. Still, can’t touch Claire because PTSD. Claire is pregnant. She’s still willing and able. Oh, and apparently at the end of this season or somewhere along, she goes back to the future. Doesn’t want to, of course, must. So, we’re not staying in France. Or 18th century. I wish there was a bit more stability. I just tell myself every episode, look, there’s six seasons of this, they must survive.

Have ordered the Waypoints book by Sam, it’s on its way. I hear it’s a biography of some sort. Thinking that I still haven’t read the biography of Michelle Obama that I have lying around the living room. But this one is clearly so much more important. It’s Sam’s.